Grey's of Our Lives

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Grey's of Our Lives

Well, my Monday evening started off great... a nice little jog around the park after a long day at work, back at home cooking some spinach/mushroom ravioli, listening to Bova laugh at the rug. Typical, yet quality. All the while, I'm gearing up for a sure-to-be riveting, torture-filled 24 that always gives me post-anxiety and leaves me tossing and turning in bed for at least an extra hour.

Then 10:30pm rolls around. Our TiVo'd 24 has just ended, Hunter and Richie are off to bed, and Annie whispers to me, “How about some Grey’s Anatomy on TiVo? Come on, watch it with me! We can make out afterwards.” OK, I made up the last line, but what the hell, I thought, I'll stick around to watch a little Grey's Anatomy. I’m a nice guy (at least I think I am) and I would have been up anyways b/c of 24. Well, an hour and a half later and I’m thinking to myself - I can’t believe I just wasted 90 minutes of my life on this Anatomy CRAP!
"What? You don't like Anatomy... like the bestest TV show on like all of like TV?" You should be embarrassed.

Let me explain what I learned in the waisted 90 minutes of my life and I'm fairly positive I could have given this account on Day 1 of this drama:

Izzie = psycho bitch from hell. She cuts Denny heart tube and kills him? You could hear doctors and nurses across the country screaming at their TVs after that one. No one would do that! (Save for maybe Jack Bauer to his wife to get her to talk. Another rant for another day...) My heart almost stopped beating, thinking that someone would have done that to me when I had a crappy heart.

To be honest, I have never cheered for death until last night. I hope that idiot rots in TV hell for letting her kill him. (Although he did have the most respectful, prophetic, truthful comment of the night when he referred to life in Heaven as better than life with Izzie. Props to the epiphany)

Izzie - go back to strippping. You're TV hospital days are done.

Prom? In the hospital! Are you serious?

Sandra Oh’s character – borderline hatred I'm feeling. That evil bitch is crazy! She should never be allowed a man, boyfriend, husband. Ever.

George = kinda funny. Kinda pathetic. No, really pathetic.

Teamwork amongst medical interns? Surgical interns? No. Never.

That idiot comparing his intern team to his high school days and the NFL draft? Laughable.

Head intern didn't kick Izzie in the head when she found out what happened? I tried to change the channel and Annie about bit off my head. She probably would have cut my heart tube too.

The dog’s death was sad, I’ll give it that.

Grey = epitome of a non-committal, fearful, freaked-out-for-no-reason-life-is-too-tough-on-me chick. I’m embarrassed for her.

Batman’s buddy, Robin is a vet? And he loves Grey? Pathetic.

They call the head surgeon McDreamy. Enough said. And he can’t even dump his slutty wife. Sorry excuse for a male.

There is one bit of hope: besides Jack Bauer, President David Palmer (may he rest in peace), Michael Scott, and Jonas Blane, Dr. Burke = coolest dude on TV. (For about 9 years, Dylan McKay was on that list)

I just wrote a letter to ABC saying they should rename it. What about As Grey's World Turns, Grey's Guiding Light, Grey's of Our Lives, Grey’s Place, Grey’s Big Love, Grey’s County, Grey’s Creek, whatever! Just not Grey’s Anatomy. Yes, I'm going to say it - the quintessential chauvinistic comment about this show I'm sure - if it showed someone's actual phyical anatomy, then maybe, just maybe it would be an entertaining show.

Signing off from the land of TV,

Kyser