Someone Stealing Your Paper?

If you've ever had some jackass in your apartment building stealing your paper, this may give you some inspiration to do something about it...
I posted this in my elevator and lobby and my "nemesis" stopped ganking it the next day. Remember to print out six, seven or 14 copies, depending on how dour your super can be about posting rebukes on "his" walls.
Some interesting comments and anecdotes have been floating around our building since this went up... will tell you about those next time around.
K
T

FYI: Francisco = my super.

To my neighbors…

It appears that my Wall Street Journal is disappearing somewhere between the early morning hours 6:08 and 7:38 on a fairly consistent M-F basis. Oddly enough, I’m getting my Weekend Edition, so no worries there.

I am assuming that there is one culprit in this recurring heist, so forgive me for wasting others’ valuable time.

But to the culprit… quite frankly, I can figure out who you are. Actually, I pretty much know who you are. From my keen deductive reasoning, you’re obviously an early riser, you probably work in finance or law, you’re probably not on the first three floors for the sheer fact that you would have to walk backwards to the chair (where my paper sits every morning), and you’re more than likely out late on a Friday night… or else you’re like me and enjoy a lazy Saturday every-so-often. Nonetheless, you probably have some money. At least enough to live in 40 E. 12th St., which is not cheap by any means (unless you’re Francisco). Therefore, you can afford the $1 a day or yearly subscription, which, last I checked was $99.00 for 52 weeks plus 4 FREE WEEKS (56 weeks in total) when you pay online by credit card.

So, please, I beg you, leave the paper be. I need my morning Journal. You can have your own. If the $$ is too much, I can just as easily give you my work address and you can swing by and pick it up later.
Thanks,

Kyser
Very top floor